Just Wipe It
Wipe hard or die trying.
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Monday, 01 December 2008
Title Earned: Champion Dragonslayer of the Oceanic Heroic Raider Guy - Posted by ewat at 05:05 PM
...amongst having cleared all the new and interesting (.....) 'Heroic Raid' encounters available in 3 nights using a ragtag crew of new and old, some of the more interesting/difficult sub-achievements also completed for this title include:
"A Bad Idea" - Having Csirac tank any 'Heroic Raid' boss.
"Epic Fever" - Somebody, probably Eviscerator, must win at least 4+ pieces of loot in any raid instance.
"Epic Fail" - Cleverly disguise yourself as a tree and accidently loot the wrong item.
"Epic DPS" - Ewat to beat DrBoombastic, all the time.
"Epic Excuses" - DrBoombastic to comment on crit rate, mana, pushback or lag when losing to Ewat.
"Down Syndrome" - Dimyzuka and Falran to die in all heroic raid boss encounters.
"Closet Nerd Pointer" - Significantly lower Laith's badge/hour rate by conning him into doing Achievements.
"Everybody Gets One Right" - Ninja loot the key for Eye of Eternity and pretend it doesn't give you an item.
"DeeKayCliche" - Completely overuse the term 'get over here' when performing death grip on the Malygos encounter.
"PriestAmI?" - Convince Drainey to reroll priest after lvling to 80 on his DK.
"Back Seat Raider" - Have Sunstyle cleverly tell you the incorrect wrong way to do an encounter, and listen to him for half a night!
"WhatDidHeSay?" - Llawliettospeakat500wordsasecondwithoutanypausessuphi
"Good Blizzard Design" - Hold open any loot chest for 5 minutes without anybody noticing.
"Confuuusion" - Still have no idea what Bowen is actually talking about.
[insert pic here]
..see you in the next expansion
Saturday, 19 July 2008
The JWI Muru Experience (tm) - Posted by ewat at 06:21 PM
..can be seen in the following pictures
NSFW PICTURE INCOMING
..and is frapsed here: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=VDV7OD-nX … re=related
Finally, what is a Muru kill newspost without a OMG KILL-JARDEN FIRST PULL SHOT!?!!!11 :nerdscream:
Code:
/ .'
/ .'
/ ______. .'
/ / __/_// ' OWOWOWOWOOWOWW
/ / / @"@ OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW
/ \ G ' >' OWOWOWOWOWOWOWO _.-'
/ \/. C ' OWOWOWOWOW _.-'
/ .---\ / --. _.-'
/ / \( \ _.-' HOLY GOD
/ / \ \ (. ) ' THE RAPE RAYS
/ / /\ \ /
/ \ | \ \ __..--''
/ .' \_\ ) )\\ __..--''
/ .' ) \ | / \ -''
/ .' _ '///` ( /\ \
/.' _.-' __ / ) ) )
'.-'..--'' / ,' / /
.__---------- /__./ / / --------------------
``--.. __// / ) /
/ _J) /)`-\
`-__/-' ` \\ |(
`\ \ -..__
`--' ``--..__
``--Sunday, 18 May 2008
Exclusive World/Solar System/quite possibly Universe 1st: Olsen twins - Posted by ewat at 07:39 PM
Yes we did it, we downed, killed, farmed, exploited, slayed, penetrated, deep throated, gagged, ripped, raped, teared a new asshole, 'did in reverse' (ok bob), simultaneously DVDA'ed into the twins (The lactosing of the lips is quite possibly the byproduct of being tanked by our cows..hrm yes that will do):
(pre 'bloody mess' shot)
How did we do it? Well because I'm a generous guy, let me detail the Seven Secret Steps to 'Blackrock PvE progression':
Step 1) Obtain strategy from Bosskillers, EJ etc. Only chumps come up with their own strategy, don't be a chump.
Step 2) If at first you you are not succeeding, ask Nurfed for help.
Step 3) If you are still not succeeding, change the strategy.
Step 4) If you are actually succeeding, change the strategy anyway.
Step 5) If you find a nifty little exploit, change the strategy to incorporate exploit.
Step 6) If the exploited strategy is not succeeding, you are not expoiting hard enough, exploit harder.
Step 7) If exploited strategy is patched, then you missed the bandwagon, go back to Step 1).
The smart guilds started at Step 5)....Just Wipe It isn't that smart, but we're not gay either (except Coztomba).
(On a more serious note, many thanks to everybody who had to respec, the people benched because Blizzard are idiots, Smoogle for every single wipe and MacroMonte for demonstrating the joke that is lolchainheal)
Monday, 14 April 2008
Felmyst - Do not attempt with Downies - Posted by Draine at 06:22 AM
Congratulations Just Wipe It on your kill of Felmyst. I'd like to thank the whole raid, as it is a group effort, for constantly making me have PMS most likely due to the fact the chronic disconnects and Down Syndrome deaths only made me stab myself in the cunt so hard my period came early this month.
Here is a picture so my hymen can rest in peace:
I would like to thank and congratulate the following people:
Somaa - his consistent dropping of the water tables and not to mention his American internet connection in the past week.
Coztomba - who likes to whine he's on a priest which is totally what he wants to play.
Ewat - for fisting you back in line if you have the downs.
Vandyy - being the cheer squad for JWI and morale supporter.
Lancel - who came in to ninja loot off the hard working Sygh and generously submitting the screenshot showing his shit editing skills. (see above at black bar)
Sygh - having a shit name. (WTF were you thinking!?)
Sunstyle - with his epic sounds of "WHOOSH" "PEW PEW" "BRRRR" that gave a clearer picture of the situation.
Sèlect - èBaying the guild's Mobile Numbers in trade.
Drakulya - learning how to fill in an account username not belonging to himself.
Fshawk - for racial relief.
Hurbie - having the English capacity of a 'free' year old
Donato - making me redo my News Post because I care about what he says.
Flexo - rejoining us to help in Sunwell.
Fabiolo - being my mentor on how to be a cunt
Tomoko - making me a cunt that I am
Falindra - who makes the best news posts EVER.
Athreneva - for his game winning and probably Archibald Prize Winning Diagram
Sample: (Looks more like Sex Ed Class)
and lastly
To the whole guild for your time, effort + patience in getting her down. (No..I'm not talking about Bob's Mum. Who would wanna go down on that?!)
Saturday, 29 March 2008
Brutallus down, Oceanic 1st, Bob gets the runs twice in <10mins - Posted by ewat at 04:11 PM
The following is the cumulative effort of 25+ really bored people on a Friday + Saturday night (we're still cool because we went out earlier to get drunk and bang females btw):
Brutallus is a pretty cool boss, as long as he's attempted in 'American' time. JWI found out that if you're not in 'American' time, he spawns some of these additional abilities:
Daily Reset - Brutallus freezes time, freezes time so much he freezes the whole world for minutes on end.
Server Crash - Brutallus will occasionally decide to bring down the entire server to quite simply annoy people....just because he can.
Second Chance Aura - All players dying within 41yrd of Brutallus will be able to resurrect again on top of their body for several seconds before being finally ported outside.
Spastic Threat - Brutallus causes ALL threat meters to spaz out, because it's really fun to do DPS racers like this.
Downs Syndrome - A special spell cast that is randomly target players (tends to be Rogues). Players effected by the spell may exhibited a number of effects such as randomly running into the Brutallus.
Curry in a Hurry - One of the most difficult debuffs to deal with, but Brutallus seems to cause all Indians/Black coloured people to goto the toilet alot more than usual.
This kill is dedicated to, GORIRA >
(It's 'Gorilla' btw dude)
Edit - Apparently we were the first 'Oceanic' guild to kill Brutallus. Even though some other notable guild (I would paste their website, but it's really that bad that your browser will probably implode) wants to dispute whether or not we are 'Oceanic', last I checked if you raided in Australian time, had 99% Australian/aZn/'fullysick'Wog members and required the clever use of a proxies to get a blistering 250ms ping..you were Oceanic.
Wednesday, 26 March 2008
It's official, JWI 2nd best guild... IN THE WORLD - Posted by ewat at 10:31 PM
..just a few more Shivering Felspine's to go ...
(PS take that Medio...and Nihilium, Vis Maior, Elitist Jerks, Insomnia, Eminence etc.)
In-YOUR-endo! - Posted by Falranicus at 04:11 PM
Apparantly we killed Kalecgos last night and the above screenshot is the 'proof'. I'm told that there's a dead dragon or demon somewhere in all that mess. I'm also told about The Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, Johnny Appleseed, that great big rainbow snake of the dreamtime, losing my virginity, scrubs actually getting good again, EA producing a worthwhile game, the guild bank not needing gold, Hillary Rodham Clinton still having a chance at the White House and T6 for superfriends being 'just around the corner'.
That said, I was in the Ventrilo channel last night when something was happening. Is talk of being 'on top' or 'down the bottom', 'squeezing in the portal' and wailing about curses 'making the jump' really pertinent to a family environment? This ex-raider thinks not, but he's happy to put up with the occasional uncomfortable situation if it means that the stupid scrubs who enjoy 'progression' unlock the content for me to later be driven through in order to receive charity epics, much the same way an old lady might be driven through town to get to the houses of pleasure in Fyshwick.
edit: We're still looking for a feral druid 
http://justwipeit.com/viewforum.php?id=17
Wednesday, 19 March 2008
The Late Show, With Falran Falranicus - Posted by Falranicus at 06:09 AM
I like to consider myself privileged person when I log into the World of Warcraft. Not just because of the detailed environment and lore. Nor is it because of the fact that there's endless comedic value when doing battle with the RNG each week. In actual fact, I liken the RNG to a cold, cruel monster, whose heart was slowly and painfully extracted by a certain female, who then proceeded to drive said heart into the ground whilst reading bad Goth poetry and talking about her true 'soul mate'. And then she slams your dick in the car door. This monster feeds on your fear as you cautiously approach, hope heavy in your unmentionables for that special piece.
No, what makes this game great is the diverse range of people in it. All portions of the Globe are represented in JWI, from the Chinese, to the Taiwanese, to the Malaysians to the Viets to the Singaporeans. The problem with such diversity however, is that inevitably the camps are split into "whitey' and 'non-whitey' and in a skill-rewarding environment like JWI, those in the whitey camps are penalised by the sub-standard gaming brains. You can pump all the money into lowerping.com that you want, but in the end it's going to do you no good when Lob can pull off 20000 APM and somehow morph the game to give him a .5 second global cool down, all while doing his work and delivering a speech worthy of a literary prize. The penalty for being white in Blizzard games is like if you'd picked a shitty race (like a troll warrior, or orc).
Even despite such an obvious handicap, I don't feel envious of our asian brethren, nor is there any discernable racism. To quote Full Metal Jacket "There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless.".
What confuses me, much the same way a fat kid is confused when placed between two succulent, moist chocolate cakes, is the invariable female hate created by select (not you, èbay) members of the guild. Everyone has the right to be Homosexual, Heterosexual or Metrosexual as they choose but what should no be tolerated is Asexuality. Basically these are the guys who are too much of a pussy to choose a team to bat for, and the invariable pent up rage gets unleased on the very delicate souls that they should be trying to seduce. Of course, if you played WoW with us as much as we do, you'd be forgiven for thinking that there are no girls on the internet. This is only partially true - there are no girls on the internet, but only because they're all having phonesex with Lancel. Hot, disgusting, milk over the walls cowsex, complete with bullscreams, whilst Dragonforce plays in the background. Could said milk be drunk with chocolate cake? I must try it.
I'd like to hear your thoughts. Should a certain member of the guild be allowed to sit on the fence, or should he choose his side once and for all? It'd be a grave abuse of my power to tell you that said fence sitter’s name is Libba, so I won't.
In other news, we're still looking for a Feral Druid. This is primarily because we're trying to string out the melee as long as possible with a faint hope of doing actual 4 figure DPS. It's like dangling a carrot in front of a horse - only at the end of the racetrack there's no prize money, but a trip to the knackers to be turned into my nightly jelly for those too stupid to reroll easymode Warlock and Hunter DPS, where the loots drop so plentifully I could smear them on myself in a fantastic orgy of purple. Please nosey on over to the recruitment forum if you think you have what it takes (and do yourself a favour and read the stickies before applying. Please. Do it for me.)
Saturday, 01 March 2008
Welcome to Monsterpiece Theatre - Posted by Falranicus at 07:12 PM
GREETINGS.
Falranicus, master and overlord of all that is worth overlording, welcomes you to this evening's presentation. Tonight, we take an in-depth look at the day to day goings on of Blackrock's premier wiping guild, Just Wipe it. This documentary takes us into the very blackened, shrivelled heart of the depravity that is guild chat, in the quest to attain that holiest of holies, approval from Csirac. No stone shall be unturned, no psyche unexamined, no guild bank un-plumbed to it's very Crimson Spinel filled core!
And now, Monsterpiece Theatre proudly presents Just Wipe It in Serpentshrine Cavern: The Chronicles of Despair
The Scene is Set - JWI's Alt/SF raid has just entered the Cavern. All members are in readiness, awaiting for the first pull
Milka: Doth verily I shalt pull, as it seems all the guild has clicked yes on thine readiness check!
Pummeldin: Drinking, just a sec. No don't go guys!
Milka casts Hunters Mark and Pet Attack on Giant Trash pack whilst boglord is pathing past them.
Milka engages his G17 Hunter macro and alt-tabs.
Milka: *interspaced between abuible breathing* lol so did you see the new mage buffs? awwww shieeeettt.
Milka dies.
/who Toksi
No Player Found!
Tjay: Don't worry guys, I'll tank the big one, heal me and dps that whilst pummeldin tanks everything else!
Pummeldin: I can't tank, I don't have any mana!
Fshawk, thinking: I must learn how to dance like Benny Lava. 1, 2, 3, ok 3 seconds to get aggro, dps time. Time to pretend to everyone that I'm not a tiny indian afterall!
Fshawk: LOL WATCH THIS, 6K CL INCOMING DAUGGGH CHAMONE LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Fshawk has died.
Fshawk: Laith, WTF WERE YOU DOING.
Zyth: Uh guys?
Zyth has died.
Zyth casts Spirit of Redemption.
Zyth has died.
Zyth uses Soulstone.
Zyth has died.
Zyth: Cocksuckers. It's people like you that make my mum use my head to clean the floor.
All seems lost. Disaster has befallen our heroes, with more and more being slain every second. All hope seems lost, when suddenly, a newcomer appears on ventrilo
Vandy has joined the channel
Vandy: HEY GUYS WHATS HAPPENING DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEW ARENA STUFF OH MAN SOME OF THAT STUFF IS HAPPENING OH WOW WHATS HAPPENING ARE YOU GUYS DOING SSC IF YOU ARE I'LL COME ALONG BECAUSE I NEED SOME NEW STUFF FOR MY PRIEST AND SHIT BUT ONLY IF YOU GUYS WANT ME OH YOU WANT ME OK LETS GO WAIT I HAVE TO DO THE COOKING QUEST FIRST OTHERWISE I'LL NEVER HAVE A CHANCE OF GETTING THE STORMCHOPS RECIPIE AND I NEED STORMCHOPS TO BRING OUR RAIDING EFFICENCY TO 95% I THINK THEY'RE THE BEST ITEM FOR RAIDING JUST A SEC GUYS I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
Vandy has left the channel
Falran: I hate you ewat.
Milka: Lol I hate yof aojfiasfhwhhafjkaslfjakfkh.
Cut to internal monologue
Ewat: It seems so long ago now, that fateful day, when I was to take the reins of a struggling guild and call it my own. It's a long and windy path that led me here, fraught on so many levels with danger. Why, I still remember the day when I was a struggling mage, short on gold and in debt to many people. That fateful day, when my luck finally ran out, and the evil 'Skitzo' broke my fingers when I couldn't pay up.
*sniff*
I've never typed the same since. And yet that's all they do. They berate my typing, my typing my mother called beautiful! They mock my breath, these torturted breaths which remind me of the sweet kisses of Lob's sister. The dog, oh the dog, that dog is all I have left of my one true friend, Fabiolo. Why! WHY was he taken from me so cruelly! To think all I have shown this guild is love and my amazing player skills. They don't deserve me. I'll show them.
Sometime later...
Smoogle: Tell us a joke Monte!
Montezeuma: *silence*
Hurbie: Don't worry, I'll tell one! So this tauren walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH
Hurbie has left the server
Lancel: STOP GIVING ME SALV YOU FUCKING DOWNIE AIDS TANKS, I DIDN'T BEAT THROUGH THE FIRE AND THE FLAMES ON EXPERT SO YOU CAN FUCK UP MY EVENINGS OF HOT CYBER WITH MALBS' SISTER! I AM AN ANGRY ANGRY COW!!
Malbs: Speaking of which lancel, i need to fund my gold habit, I'll need another $20 if you want to keep talking to her so I can fund my gold habit.
Lancel has left the raid.
Milka: Alas! Who will tanketh for the raid now!
Jibbly: I could log on Doughnuts?
Falran has left the raid.
Shadedmedic: Well, my warrior could use an upgrade...
Falran has left the guild.
Ewat: FINALLY! MY PLAN HAS SUCCEDED! NOW NOTHING CAN STOP ME FROM TAKING CONTROL OF EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING! *pause for Ventolin*. YOU ARE ALL MINE!
Lob: Ewat, I must tell you this. My sister was pregnant with your child before she died. The child was born, and named Falran!
Ewat: No! That can't be true, that's impossible! Nooooooooo!
Ewat has left the game.
Lob: The king is dead! All Hail the king!
The End
(I may actually be banned from the website for writing this)
Thursday, 11 October 2007
Illidan down..daugh, zing, chamone, top's offline etc. - Posted by ewat at 03:52 PM
The following serves as some kind of shitty placeholder newspost until Lancel makes one. However, I feel the following screenshot best represents my time learning this guy:
Dont' ask me why...
Grats to ALL who have helped get us this far in the last month..the crappy TF2 nurfs, Biohazard for being boring, Halo3 for being overhyped, Portals for being gay, Inhuman for..not much, and for Medio going to Hyjal ~
If you have been interested in joining Just Wipe It (now officially the 2nd or 3rd best Oceanic guild in the world, rar), now is a good time to apply as seeing as we have finished TBC content, I am anticipating raid turnouts to be similar to one of Craftlock's 'Alt-SSC runs'...
(I refuse to post an actual screenshot that has come from Lancel's computer)
Sunday, 07 October 2007
Black Temple CupchickT. almost. - Posted by Lancel at 07:26 AM
GREETINGS AGAIN FELLOW FRIENDS AND SOMAA.
After enduring several weeks of the raiding eqiuvalent of anal sex with Qookie, JWI got their collective shat together and managed to kill Mother Shazzam, and the Illidari Interuptathon in a single sitting.
Here you see a picture of Mother Sharazz being deaded. Also pictured is what happens when Blizzard makes hybrids 'raid viable'.
Here you see a picture of the Loot Council deaded. And a shout out to our sponsers, love you guys!
Then we all ran up the ramp squealing at the Akama RP. Shortly after this photo was taken some faghat started the event and then Sylina got a bop. I, the mighty Lancel, was too busy hating on mediocrity to tank so we wiped.
Thank you and goodnight
Monday, 03 September 2007
RoS dead - Posted by ewat at 08:06 AM
Pretty sure we killed this guy tonight:
Thursday, 30 August 2007
Gurtogg down - Posted by ewat at 08:01 AM
Lancel is so very gay for Somaa
Thursday, 16 August 2007
Mt Hymen Down - Posted by Fabiolo at 09:08 PM
Grats to those present last night as JWI defeated Archimonde and cemented their place as Australia’s premiere wiping guild. Azgalor was defeated last week, or so i hear.
With only Illidan left and Zul’Aman a running joke, JWI looks to the future and the next expansion pack. In their infinite wisdom, and in the face of all the already-established Northrend and Nerubian lore, Blizzard have opted to instead retune Naxxramas for 25 mans; thus making it more viable for mouthbreathers too stupid to be in a worthwhile guild. 
Blizzard execs, pictured above, have made it clear that there simply isn’t enough money coming in, and so therefore the developers will simply rehash existing content and try to convince players that this is a good product worth paying good money every month for. It’s almost as whore-ry as trying to tie-in fucking consoles into TF2.
So how about that Bioshock?
Thursday, 09 August 2007
Teron DR-R-R-R-Rted - Posted by Fabiolo at 07:16 PM
Machinegun bogging aside, Teron is a pretty cool fight. My only complaint was the lack of dps, especially from Korean warriors who fake-quit and buy Macs because they’re homosexual.
In other news, an on-going study by scientists at the National Insitute of Diuleylomo has revealed that JWI are suffering from a new kind of disease known as “Daugh Fatigue”. This is caused by an excessive amount of “daughing” at drops during trash. The sudden explosion in quantity due to epic gems, hearts and epic maces has led to the onset of this disease. Very often, a pre-emptive “daugh” can be heard whenever a body is sparkling, only exacerbating the condition.
Observe below how entry into BT has transformed an average JWI’er:
Doctors advise that, for the sake of the health of members, priests should receive any and all drops, especially maces; for much like Frodo only they can shoulder such a great burden.